The Great Morski Oko Park Dog Poisoner Mystery

A rumour is spreading among pet owners who walk their dogs in a Mokotow park that someone is trying to murder our furry friends.

Dog owners in Mokotow - including myself - are living in fear. The rumour says that four mutts have been poisoned while going for walkies in Morski Oko Park, which lies between ul Marszalkowska and Belwederska.

The dogs are being poisoned, the gossip goes, by a man who is lacing salmon, or other raw fish, with rat poison, and then leaving it in the park, waiting for an unsuspecting pooch to gobble it up.

And it’s the last meal they ever have.

I have been able to ascertain through my investigations (this is a true story!) that at least one dog has died this way. One dog owner told us that she was out with her two pets in Morski Oko Park a few weeks ago. All was well until they got home. Then, both dogs started being violently sick. Some hours later one of them died.

So just who is doing this? Is there a dog-hating psychopath on the loose in the park? And what of the other three dogs? Is this true, or just a version of Chinese whispers?

My theory is that this is, in actual fact, more like Japanese whispers. Raw salmon – when it is wrapped up in seaweed and rice – is otherwise known as Sushi! For a long while I have been certain that nobody actually likes sushi – they just pretend to because it’s trendy. In reality, most do what I do when I put one of those nasty fishy things in my mouth: they want to spit it back out again immediately.

So what I think is happening is this. Business people are going to sushi restaurants and are not eating the fish, but are putting it discreetly in bags (doggy bags?) and then taking it outside and dumping the horrid stuff in the street.

Or, in the park!

Dogs are then coming upon the stuff and eating it.

The result is that they are sick as a dog, and what waits them is a long, slow death at the hands of sushi.

This is a true story, and if you have heard anything similar, then please let us dog walkers of Morski Oko know. It’s a matter of life and death!!!